Who Usually Says a Toast at a Wedding? A Guide to Wedding Speakers
When you think about a wedding, the celebration often includes heartfelt moments, and one of those is the wedding toast. Typically, the best man gives the first toast, followed by the maid of honor, parents, and sometimes other close family members or friends. Each person shares a special memory or offers their well wishes to the couple, adding to the warmth of the occasion.
Understanding who usually gives these toasts can help you prepare if you are in a role where you might be expected to speak. It’s a beautiful tradition that highlights relationships and celebrates love. You might find that guests look forward to these speeches, as they often bring laughter and tears all at once.
As wedding traditions evolve, knowing the order and expectations for toasts can make the experience more enjoyable for you and the couple. Whether you are planning a wedding or attending one, being aware of these roles will help you better appreciate this special part of the celebration.
Roles and Responsibilities

At a wedding, several key individuals take on the important task of delivering toasts. Each person’s speech adds a unique touch to the celebration, honoring the couple and sharing heartfelt messages. Let’s look closely at the roles of these speakers.
Best Man’s Toast
The best man usually delivers one of the most anticipated toasts at the wedding. This speech is often filled with humor and personal anecdotes about the groom.
You can expect the best man to share funny stories from their friendship, while also expressing love and admiration for the couple.
It’s important to strike a balance between humor and heartfelt emotion.
A well-crafted toast can set a positive tone for the evening, making it memorable for everyone involved. The best man should also be prepared to raise his glass for the toast, signaling the crowd to join in celebrating the newlyweds.
Maid of Honor’s Role
The maid of honor, like the best man, plays a major role in the wedding. During her toast, she usually focuses on the bride.
This can include fun memories, qualities she admires, and wishes for the future.
A maid of honor’s speech often reflects the bond between her and the bride, making it quite emotional. You might also incorporate light jokes or stories to keep the mood joyful.
Remember that the maid of honor should keep her speech appropriate and respectful, as it sets a pleasant atmosphere for the crowd right after the best man’s toast.
Parents and Close Family Members
Parents or close family members often give toasts as well. The father of the bride traditionally offers one of the first speeches.
He typically expresses pride in his daughter and shares bits of wisdom.
The mother of the groom may follow, sharing her perspective on the couple’s relationship.
If siblings are involved, they might also give short, warm-hearted speeches.
It’s common for parents to raise a glass to celebrate their children, showing love and support. Each speech from family adds depth to the ceremony, highlighting the importance of family bonds.
Special Guests
Special guests can also make meaningful contributions through toasts. Often, these can include lifelong friends or mentors of the couple.
It’s nice to hear personal stories that add charm to the celebration.
While they can be humorous or sentimental, these toasts should generally be brief to keep the flow of the event moving.
Encouraging such guests to prepare ahead of time can lead to memorable moments that everyone will cherish. In many cases, a guest speech can provide a fresh perspective on the couple’s relationship, offering insights that you might not have heard before.
Order and Timing of Toasts
Understanding the order and timing of toasts can help you feel more confident when it’s your turn to speak. Knowing who speaks when and how long each toast should last can make the event run smoothly and keep it enjoyable for everyone.
Welcome Toast
The welcome toast is usually given by the wedding host, which is often the bride’s parents. This toast sets the tone for the reception. It typically happens shortly after guests are seated and before dinner is served. The host may thank everyone for coming and share a few personal remarks.
Keep the welcome toast brief. Aim for about 2-3 minutes. This gives you enough time to express your gratitude without losing the audience’s attention. A warm and friendly tone can make this introductory speech memorable.
Main Reception Toasts
The main reception toasts follow the welcome toast and usually include the best man, maid of honor, and sometimes other family members. The best man will often speak first, sharing funny stories and heartfelt moments about the couple. Next, the maid of honor typically gives her toast, offering her love and support for the newlyweds.
Each toast should ideally last around 3-5 minutes. This allows the speaker to share meaningful anecdotes without dragging on. Timing is essential, so keeping to your limits helps maintain energy throughout the evening.
Rehearsal Dinner Speeches
Rehearsal dinner speeches usually occur the night before the wedding. They provide a more intimate setting for toasts, often including close family and friends. During this time, parents, siblings, and close friends may share their thoughts and experiences.
These speeches can be more personal and often last a bit longer, around 4-6 minutes. It’s a chance to reminisce and express love for the couple. Remember to keep the atmosphere light and enjoyable, as this is a prelude to the main event!
Crafting the Perfect Toast
Creating a memorable wedding toast involves thoughtful preparation and an understanding of your audience. Focus on the content and structure, how you deliver your message, and ways to keep guests engaged.
Content and Structure
Start your toast with a warm greeting. Acknowledge the couple, their families, and guests. This sets a positive tone right from the beginning.
Next, share a personal story or a funny memory about the couple. It can be light-hearted and relatable. Make sure it highlights their relationship or their characters.
Remember to include a blessing or well wishes for their future. This adds a heartfelt touch to your message. End with a clear call to action, inviting everyone to raise their glasses and toast to the couple.
Delivery and Etiquette
When delivering your toast, speak clearly and at a moderate pace. Make eye contact with the audience to engage them. This connection will help convey your emotions more effectively.
Keep your toast short, aiming for about two to three minutes. Long speeches can lead to speech fatigue among guests. To avoid boredom, stay focused on the couple and your message. Use a confident and friendly tone to keep listeners interested.
If you feel nervous, practice your toast several times. You can even rehearse in front of a friend who can give feedback.
Avoiding Speech Fatigue
To prevent speech fatigue during your toast, be mindful of your content. Stick to the main points and avoid rambling. A clear structure helps maintain interest and makes your message more powerful.
You might also want to consider how long other speeches will be. If there are multiple speakers, coordinate with them for a smoother flow. Keeping your toast concise will make it stand out.
Finally, remember to invite responses from your audience. Phrases like “Cheers!” or “To love!” help keep the atmosphere lively and encourage participation. This way, your toast becomes an interactive moment, making it more enjoyable for everyone.
Toasts Across Cultures and Ceremonies
Toasts at weddings vary greatly around the world, reflecting unique cultural backgrounds and traditions. Understanding these differences can help you appreciate the significance of each toast during the celebration.
Diverse Wedding Traditions
In many cultures, the wedding toast is a highlight of the celebration. It is a moment where family and friends raise glasses, often filled with champagne, to honor the couple.
For example, in Italian weddings, it is common for the best man to deliver a heartfelt toast filled with personal stories. In contrast, a traditional Jewish wedding might feature multiple toasts from various family members, often accompanied by singing.
In Mexican weddings, the brindis (toast) is essential, where guests stand and express blessings for the couple. These variations show how diverse wedding traditions are, each enriching the ceremony with unique sentiments.
Same-Sex Wedding Toast Nuances
Same-sex weddings have become more common, and they bring their own unique toast traditions. Typically, both partners are celebrated, and toasts may reflect their individual journeys together.
In these celebrations, friends and family often share stories that highlight the couple’s love and unity. The focus is on celebrating the love that transcends traditional norms.
Toasters should be mindful and inclusive in their messages. They should steer clear of traditional clichés that may not apply. This ensures that all guests feel welcome and appreciated. It makes the toast a joyful and heartfelt moment for everyone involved.