How Much Do You Give for a Wedding Gift If Not Attending? A Guide to Thoughtful Gifting

When you find out about a wedding but can’t attend, you might wonder about the gift etiquette. A good rule of thumb is to spend between $50 to $150, depending on your relationship with the couple. This range helps you choose a thoughtful gift that shows you care, even from afar.

A beautifully wrapped gift box with a decorative bow sits on a table next to a card and envelope

Choosing a gift can feel tricky if you’re not there to celebrate in person. Checking the couple’s registry or considering cash can make your decision easier. Remember, the gesture matters most, and it’s a nice way to send your best wishes even when you can’t be there.

Sending a gift is a sign of respect and love for the couple as they start their new life together. With a little thought, you can find the perfect way to celebrate their special day.

Understanding Wedding Gift Etiquette

YouTube video

When you can’t attend a wedding, knowing how to navigate gift-giving can be tricky. Understanding your role in the wedding and your relationship with the couple can help guide your choices about the gift amount, budget, and whether to give cash or a physical gift.

Role in the Wedding and Relationship with the Couple

Your connection with the couple plays a key role in deciding your gift. If you are a close friend or family member, it’s often expected that you give more than if you are just an acquaintance.

Consider how long you have known them and the nature of your relationship. For example, you might give a larger amount if you celebrated milestones together, like birthdays or graduations.

Gift Amount and Budget Considerations

When setting a budget for the gift, think about what you can afford. The average gift amount tends to be around $160, but this can vary widely based on your financial situation and closeness to the couple.

You can choose to adjust the sum based on your expenses. If you can’t travel, some believe you can give a little more since you saved on travel costs. It’s always better to give what feels right for you.

The Question of Money or Physical Gift

Deciding between cash and a physical gift is another consideration. Cash gifts can be more flexible, letting the couple use it as they wish. This is often seen as practical, especially if you’re unsure of their needs.

On the other hand, a personalized gift can reflect thoughtfulness and sentiment. If you decide on a physical gift, consider selecting something from their registry or a unique item that shows you care.

Choosing the Right Gift

A beautifully wrapped gift box with a ribbon and a card placed on a table next to a wedding invitation

When you aren’t attending a wedding but still want to show your support, finding the right gift can feel tricky. You have options, including gifts from the couple’s registry or something more personal. Let’s explore your choices and how to make them meaningful.

Deciding Between Registry or Off-Registry Items

A wedding registry can be a helpful guide for choosing a gift. Couples often include items they truly want or need. If you choose an item from the registry, you’ll be sure it aligns with their wishes.

However, an off-registry gift can provide a unique touch. If you know the couple well, think about their interests and favorite activities. For example, personalized kitchenware or a cozy throw blanket can feel special.

Remember, thoughtful gifts that show you care are always appreciated. Whether from the registry or not, aim for something that reflects their personality.

Cash Gifts: To Give or Not to Give

Deciding to give cash can sometimes feel awkward, especially if you aren’t attending. Many couples appreciate cash, as it allows them to use it however they please. It’s practical and can go towards their honeymoon or new home.

If you opt for cash, consider pairing it with a small gift or meaningful card. This adds a personal touch. You can choose an amount based on your relationship with the couple.

If they are close friends, $100 to $150 is often a kind gesture. For more distant friends or coworkers, consider $50 to $75.

Creating a Meaningful Note

Along with your gift, including a heartfelt note is essential. A personal message can convey your thoughts and best wishes for their special day.

Start by expressing your happiness about their wedding. You might mention a cherished memory or a quality you admire in them as a couple. Sharing a personal touch can make your note stand out.

End with a few warm wishes, like hopes for their future together. This adds a thoughtful closure. A meaningful note can elevate any gift, reminding the couple of your support and affection.

Special Circumstances

A beautifully wrapped gift box with a ribbon and bow sits on a table next to a card with a heartfelt message

When it comes to wedding gifts, some situations can influence what you might choose to give. Special circumstances, such as destination weddings, group gifts, and donations, can change the way you approach gifting.

Factors for Destination Weddings

Destination weddings often come with higher costs for guests. If you can’t attend, consider giving a gift that reflects your relationship with the couple.

For acquaintances, a gift around $50-$75 is suitable. For friends or family, you might want to give $100 or more.

You can also check the couple’s registry for gifts that suit your budget. When in doubt, a thoughtful note can complement your gift, showing you care about their special day regardless of your absence.

Group Gifts and Their Benefits

Group gifts can be a great way to provide something more substantial without breaking the bank. If you have mutual friends or co-workers, consider pooling together for a larger gift. This way, you get to give something the couple truly wants, while sharing the cost.

When organizing a group gift, decide on a budget that fits everyone involved. For example, if five people contribute $50 each, you can present a $250 gift. A larger item from the registry, like a special appliance or experience, can be appreciated more when gifted together.

Donations Instead of Gifts

If you prefer to give back rather than buy something material, consider making a donation in the couple’s name. Many couples appreciate this gesture, especially if they care about specific causes or charities.

You can choose a charity that resonates with their values, or check if they have a preferred organization noted in their wedding materials. This thoughtful gift not only helps others but also reflects your consideration for the couple’s wishes.

Sending the Gift

A beautifully wrapped gift box with a ribbon and a card placed on a table next to a stack of envelopes

When you choose to send a gift for a wedding you won’t attend, it’s important to consider the right timing and how to let the couple know about your thoughtful gesture. Proper etiquette can guide you in making the best choice.

Appropriate Times to Send Your Gift

The best time to send your wedding gift is within three months after the wedding date. This ensures the couple feels your support while still in the excitement of their new marriage. If you miss this window, etiquette allows sending a gift within a year.

If you received an RSVP or a wedding invitation, it can help you gauge when to send your gift. Many people choose to send a gift even several weeks ahead of the wedding. This allows the couple to use your gift during their special day, especially if it’s a contribution to a cash fund or an experience they can enjoy right away.

How to Communicate Your Gift Sending

When you send your gift, consider including a personal note. This can express your well-wishes and let the couple know you were thinking of them on their special day.

If you are sending a gift card, clearly state the intended use, especially if it’s for a cash fund. Acknowledgment is key.

If you’re unable to be there, your note can say something like, “I wish I could celebrate with you!”

These personal touches help your gift stand out and show the couple that you care, even from afar.